You’re Not Alone

Recently, I received an email from someone I hadn’t heard from for quite a while. She contacted me after learning of my husband’s death.

Catching me up on the last thirty years, she said that other than a few momentary relationships along the way, she’d been alone since her divorce. She wrote, “I have had many emotional struggles dealing with life not being what I expected. Today, however, I feel that life is rich with family and friends, and, of course, a loving God who alone can meet my needs…I’m glad you had such a rich marriage. What a gift.”

It warmed my heart to hear that despite painful experiences she was doing well. I also had to agree–losing Charlie so soon has been very painful, but I know that what we had was very special. Ours was the kind of love some have never experienced. For that, I will be forever grateful.

My friend’s words reminded me of my journaling that morning. Something about writing things out with pen and paper slows everything down, quieting the distractions. It’s not just a place for me to record my thoughts though. I may have journaled for years, yet it continues to amaze me that I can actually talk to the God of the universe! And when I pause to listen, He still speaks.

Here’s part of my journal entry:

As times goes by the ache inside grows. Every day I realize a little more just how much I lost the day Charlie’s heart stop beating. Already I “celebrated” my birthday without him, not to mention how difficult Father’s Day was. There will be so many more “firsts,” and it’s hard to imagine how I’m going to do this alone, after spending two-thirds of our lives together.

Sometimes, the loneliness and heartache become so intense I just want to be numb—to turn to other things as an anesthetic for the pain. But you beckon me to draw near. To bring my burdens to you. There are times you seem far away, then at other times, I sense you closer than ever before.

A huge part of me longs for Charlie to still be here. My need for your nearness is greater than ever. I can’t rewind what just happened. Charlie is with you now, experiencing a closeness I can only imagine. If I want to be closer to him, the best thing I can do is to press into you, Father God. To join my husband by doing what he’s doing. So I will choose to worship you, even in the midst of this pain that takes my breath away.

“Be to me a rock of refuge, to which I may continually come; you have given the command to save me, for you are my rock and my fortress.” Psalm 71:3

Dear one,

Do you feel alone? Do you long for the closeness you once had with someone you loved—or fear you’ll never find that special person you’ve been searching for?

There is Someone you can trust completely. A Savior, who will never leave you or forsake you. I’m not saying you will never feel lonely, or that you won’t experience pain. Jesus said, “In this world you will have trouble.” But I promise that if you draw near to God, he will draw near to you!

I am praying for you. May you find solace in the arms of the God of all comfort.

Meredith Andrews—You’re Not Alone

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