I just met with a beautiful friend of mine, who is walking a very dark road right now. She is watching her mother die, and is wondering how in the world she will be able to do this…the goodbye…The process…all of it.

She is in the midst of unbelievable pain and sorrow, with a great deal of fear as well. Fear of the unknown. Fear that she will somehow fail her Mom…that she won’t be able to “be there” for her…too afraid to watch the struggle…of leaving her alone.

And what do I say to any of that? How do I best respond to someone in such a raw place?

Well, I can tell you what I didn’t say. I didn’t tell her that “all things work together for good”. Do I believe that? Absolutely, but those particular words probably won’t bring comfort at this point.

Neither did I tell her that I understand exactly what she’s feeling…that I’ve been through ” the same thing”.  How dare I say such a thing? I’m not her…I lost my mother too, but in very different circumstances, and at a completely different stage of my life. None of us can ever say we went through the same thing…because we’re not them. Each of us walks the path of pain in unique ways. And besides, this is not about me.

So I sat with her. I hope that instead of preaching at her, I became Jesus’ ministering presence for her. That’s what those of us who have given our hearts to Jesus are called to do. To comfort others with the comfort that we have received. In the end, that is the best thing of all. To simply be there…in the midst of her pain. To enter that sacred space and share it with her for a time. And that is perhaps the most holy ground we will have the privilege to stand on…

My friend showed me an index card a bit tattered, with the verses that she’s been clinging to through her personal storm. It’s one of my favorites:

Matthew 11:28-30

New Living Translation

²⁸ Then Jesus said, “Come to Me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ Take My yoke upon you. Let Me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰ For My yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”

How about you? Is your load heavy right now? Are you struggling to take another step? Or to simply get out of bed?Is the makeup an attempt to cover the pain you don’t want anyone to see?

Why don’t you come to Jesus. The most amazing peace that goes beyond understanding is available for the asking. Just come…just as you are, and lay your burdens down. He’s waiting for you.

This song really spoke to me a few years ago. There will be times when we will be called to hold out hope to a sister or brother. In a sense to believe for them, when their faith is slipping. When they can’t see because the tears are blurring their vision. In those moments, let them borrow yours.

http://youtu.be/4iXPRwSf8vo   “You can Borrow Mine”, by Bebo Norman

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